Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
