eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
