not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
you will always have a special place in my vag
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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