four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
