I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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