It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
