I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
