was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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