after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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