just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
