Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
