I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
