Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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