i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She bit a glass in half.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Never underestimate the power of titties
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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