I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
