I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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