my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
