how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
handjob tips. give me some.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
