Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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