wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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