Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
