wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
