I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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