if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I just had sex on a roof
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
