would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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