why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
