Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
