I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
