just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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