I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
