i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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