this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
