when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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