I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Randomize
