is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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