this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
