Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
