i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
