What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
