I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
