Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
