I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
