i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
