1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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