i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It's never too late to be topless.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Randomize
