who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
