i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
