I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
