hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
