so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
