he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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